Turk Shenanigans

[Ninian]

[TURK SHENANIGANS]

CHAPTER: 1

Midgar. A large circular structure supported above the ground by eight reactors and a central pillar. On top of the structure lies the city proper, divided into eight sectors, while underneath it on the ground lies a large slum; created by the city's unfortunate and downtrodden. Sector 6 Slums. A wondrous place... for men. Wall Market, the local shopping district, was especially scary in a lot of ways. Especially for a girl. Sector 6 not only had a run-down marketplace filled with sketchy individuals, it was also famous for its dangerous "red light district" atmosphere run by the local crime-lord, Don Corneo.

There's a restaurant on the north-end of Wall Market, which was the favorite hangout for Reno and Rude, and today they decided to frequent the bar. Reno and Rude were Turks--members of an elite investigation sector for the major company Shin-Ra Electric Power. The Turks act similarly to an intelligence agency or investigative bureau, engaging in reconnaissance and espionage, or even black ops, including kidnappings and assassinations, on behalf of the corporation. The Turks uphold a reputation of being consummate professionals, adhering to the mission no matter what. Even if it meant killing their family, they would still complete the job.

Due to the nature of their job, members of the Turks are privy to numerous company secrets and as such become security risks should they leave the company. This results in the reality that Turk members can only freely leave the company in a body bag.

Reno and Rude had been partners for years. Reno is the talkative one of the pair. He has a lanky physique, and unkempt red hair kept in a ponytail with two symmetrical red marks on his cheekbones. On the top of his forehead, rests a pair of goggles. He wears the usual Turk attire--that is a black suit--except he keeps his suit jacket and undershirt un-tucked and unbuttoned. Rude, the quiet one, is very tall with a goatee and a bald scalp. His skin color was slightly darker than fair-skinned co-workers. You'd never spot rude without his signature sunglasses, and he wore his attire in a much more professional manner than Reno---he even wore a tie.

As they sat at the bar, they talked to each other while shoving alcohol down their throats. Reno grinned roguishly, "So Rude, who do you like?"

It was always the same question, and Rude always had the same answer; silence. Reno grinned, "What about that Lydia chick? She's smokin'!" Rude remained silent, Reno chuckled, "You're right, she's totally got the hots for Tseng. We can't compete with that."

Beckoning the bartender over, he grabbed another drink and sloppily ingested it. The bartender brought Rude another drink as well, however unlike his comrade drank it like a civilized human being.

"So, really, in all seriousness, who do you like?" Reno's drunken gaze fixated on Rude. The quiet man put down his drink and glanced at his co-worker. His smooth baritone voice rang out, "I like no one." Reno gasped, "W-What?! So wait.. You're telling me if Lydia stripped right before you, that you would not hit that..?!" Rude remained silent, Reno gasped in disdain, "...Are you even human?!"

Rude sat there silently. Reno was his best friend, but sometimes he talked too much. "Reno." The red-headed man looked over at his companion, "Yes?" Rude continued casually sipping at his beverage, "Could we end this line of conversation?" Reno leaned back as far as he could without falling off the stool, and placed his hand behind his head, "Sure, sure. But you really need to do something about your asexuality, it's kind-of bothersome." Rude remained silent for a few moments before he spoke, "I'm not." Reno laughed and waved his hand, "Sure, sure." Rude's brow furrowed, but he didn't speak any further on the matter.

Reno heaved a sigh. Well, he enjoyed talking about this subject, so instead of interrogating Rude, he'd talk about himself, "Well... I've kinda had my eye on Cissnei. You know, that one Turk with the shuriken and beautiful reddish-brown locks? Yeaaah." He grinned. Rude just sat there. "Well, she is really cute. The rest of the female turks.... they're a bit too manly for my taste. The one chick who's a blackbelt? I don't remember her name, but she's really, *really* frightening." Rude nodded. She was rather terrifying.

Looking at his watch, Reno determined it was probably about time to leave the bar, "Hey, did you want to hit up the Honey Bee Inn...?" Rude shook his head, "Awww... well, maybe next time?" Rude heaved a sigh--he wasn't like that. He understood that Reno thought that he was somehow less of a man for not wanting to occupy what was essentially a brothel, but he wasn't going to allow that to sway his decision.

The two men began to head towards the nearby train station. They actually lived on the Shin-Ra grounds, not having a family or anything to go home to. It was also much cheaper that way, and the quarters weren't terrible. Reno and Rude had to share a room--similar to a freshman dorm at college--but it was something they got accustomed to. Having company was also pleasant.

They arrived at the train station, and hopped on the train. Reno sat down, but Rude remained standing, holding onto the handrails. They passed through several security checkpoints--the checkpoints scanning the train's contents for individuals without proper ID. Nothing flagged the system, and the arrived at Sector 8. Getting off the train, they then walked through the sector. Signs for LOVELESS--a play--were plastered all around town. Rude looked at them, and turned toward his partner, "Did you want to get tickets?" Reno laughed at him, "...do you even know what the plot is for that?" Rude nodded, Reno looked at him about to cry laughing, "Y-You do, really?" Rude sighed, it was apparent his partner thought it was some sappy love-flick. It was obvious he wouldn't be able to talk Reno into seeing it, so he dropped the issue.

The entrance to the Shin-Ra headquarters was on the out-skirts of Sector 8's plate. The sector the headquarters resided on was called Sector 0, but it was surrounded by every sector, 8 being the most accessible point, and the area the Turks frequented.

They entered the building, and the girls at the front desk swooned at the sight of Reno. He grinned and winked at them, and they almost fell over. They were about to enter the elevator when Reno's cellphone rang. He answered it, "Sup?" Tseng, Reno and Rude's superior, was on the other end of the line and sounded rather unamused. "Reno. The 45th floor has been broken into, important documents are missing." Reno heaves as heavy sigh, he was looking forward to resting. "Alright, we'll look into it." Rolling his eyes, the pair entered one of the elevators and made their way to the 45th floor.

Rude stood guard outside of the secure room, and Reno went inside to investigate. Papers and documents were everywhere... all of the papers were in the science section. Why on earth would someone break into the file room and steal that of all things? The information would only be useful to a highly trained scientist, and Shin-Ra had employed all of those...

Suddenly, the security system that guarded the office went off. A deafening alarm sounded, both men covered their ears. "Damnit," Reno exclaimed, "Get ready Rude, we're about to have a party." Rude readied his fists, and Reno pulled out his rod. A party was indeed about to begin.

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, dozens of tiny robots encroached upon their space. Their mechanical voices echoing the phrase, "INTRUDER ALERT" repeatedly. Reno, rather annoyed at the sounds they made furiously bashed away at the little robots with his electrified rod. Rude punched and kicked them, dealing a decent amount of damage to them, but was unable to completely smash them.

After defeating his patch of robots, he goes after the ones assaulting Rude. Taking his rod firmly in hand, he skillfully bashes them all swiftly on their optical devises, instantly rendering them useless. Another wave came, but they were quickly neutralized. Reno scratched his head, why on earth had the security system go off now, at all times? They both had cards that granted them clearance for this room...

Reno received another phone call. It was Tseng again, Reno answered cheerfully, "Sup?" "The security system was sabotaged by the intruder. I've sent Cissnei to investigate. What I need you two to do right now, and this is very important, locate and stop the intruder." "Don't worry, we'll handle it." Grinning, he closed the phone. It was time to fry some intruder butt.

Leaving the archive room, Rude make sure the door is firmly shut, and locked. While he's busy doing this, Rude notices a bearded man in a lab coat watching them from the shadows. "That's him!" Reno cries, and the pair begin pursuit down the corridors. Slipping into an elevator, the man manages to escape--or so he thought. Taking his rod, he wedged it into the doors and forced it open. Quickly, he took this opportunity to jump down the elevator shaft, landing on the elevator's roof.

Rude was unable to make it through the door before it closes, and rushes to take another elevator down to the ground floor.

Meanwhile, Reno tugged furiously at the small access door at the top of the elevator. It was, of course, locked. "Damnit!" Reno cursed under his breath. To make matters worse, he heard a familiar sound, "INTRUDER ALERT!" Looking up, he saw another malfunctioning security robot crawling like a spider on the side of the elevator shaft. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Drawing his Rod, he positioned himself into a battle stance, "I beat all of your stupid robot friends, I can beat you too!"

"INTRUDER ALERT!" The robot launched itself off the side of the shaft. It was much, much larger than the small robots that attacked him previously. Instead of landing a hit on him, the robot stopped. "W-What the--" A yellow and green ring glowed around the base of the robot, and instantly Reno felt a thousand bolts flow through his body, and he fell to his knees "Y-You fucking..."

Bringing himself to his feet, he clutched his arm still feeling the zing of the Bolt attack. "I've licked batteries stronger than you!" Regaining his composure, he charged his rod with magic infused by the Bolt Materia embedded in his weapon. Jumping into the air, he crashed down hard into the security robot's optical lens. "OPTICAL MALFUNCTION." Reno cried in confusion, "What in the world are you!?"

Jumping away from the robot, he looked over and noticed huge painted letters beside him, FLOOR 25 causing him to groan. He only had 25 floors to defeat this monster, and capture the thief. The robot started to cast Bolt again, "Oh no you don't!" He rushed at the robot, in attempts to interrupt it's spell-casting. Striking one of it's spider-like legs, he managed to tear it off, causing the robot to stumble about. The casting was interrupted, and immediately after it stopped, the robot struck Reno hard in the leg with another one of it's spider-like legs. "B-Bastard!" He cried, holding his leg in pain.

Limping, he did his best to get to the side of the elevator shaft away from the monstrous beast of a robot. Reno summoned a halo of light, that suddenly burst into a green aura about his form. The wound on his leg started to mend, and he glared hatefully at the robot staggering before him. "Shin-Ra sure knows how to build 'em." Glancing to his side, he noticed the large numbers now red FLOOR 10.

"C-Come on... die you piece of shit!"

Again, he launched himself towards the robot, this time aiming his rod horizontally in order to smash the entire front plate of steel on the robot's frame. The robot sputtered and whirred, the whole steel shell cracking apart, it's circuit board exposed. Swiftly, Reno landed a finishing blow on the bits that appeared most important, and it fell to the ground, destroyed. FLOOR 2.

The elevator continued to descend down the shaft. FLOOR 1. Reno heard the familiar ding of the elevator car as the door opened, and suspect escaped. He was stuck, he had to climb up the shaft to the second floor otherwise he wouldn't be able to get out. Why had the access door been locked...?

Using the broken robot as a stepping stool, Reno wedged his foot against the corner of the shaft, and grabbed onto some horizontal bars running across it. Continuing this trend, he managed to make his way to the door of the second story. Grabbing his rod in one hand, and a metal bar in the other, he was able to pry the doors open while somehow not falling to the elevator below. Wedging the rod against the door, he was able to slip through the cracks onto the second floor of the Shin-Ra headquarters. He flopped on his back, exhausted. The suspect had already fled the scene unless his partner managed to apprehend him, so Reno took a much needed thirty second break.

Heaving a sigh, Reno flipped open his phone and called Tseng. "Hey boss-man... suspect was lost. Sorry 'bout that, yo." Tseng let out a huge sigh before speaking, "I see. Your orders are to continue your investigation, as well as help stop the malfunctioning security robots that have now escaped into the streets of Sector 8, and are attacking civilians." Reno hurriedly picked himself off the ground, "Alright boss, talk to you later!" he quickly secured the phone in his pocket, and rushed down the stairs as fast as he could. His partner Rude had been standing there, corpses of robots scattered across the tiled floor.

"Hah, you had fun without me?" Rude smirked at him, and Reno continued speaking, "Alright then, let's get this party started!"

Rude rushed out of Shin-Ra Headquarters, Reno following close behind. The robots where everywhere. How could they possibly stop this many before they assaulted the citizens of Sector 8? Panicking, Reno poised himself and began to cast Bolt. The robots were small, like the ones in the record's room, so he figured that one quick bolt should knock it out. The greenish yellow glow at his feet grew brighter, and out of nowhere a thunderbolt shot down and struck one of the robots, and it fell to the ground, limp.

Having a difficult time with the swarms of robots, Rude also resorted to magic. Knocking about ten of them out with Bolt, he rushed towards another street, determined to finish the last of them off. Reno, choosing another street, began to beat the swarms of robots down with his Rod. Landing a crushing blow on the top of the robot, Reno looked up and saw a little girl out of the corner of his eye.

"H-Helpp!!!" Tears were streaming down the sides of her pale face, and she tried to kick at the robot to keep it away from her. Reno panicked, "Don't move!" Rushing to her aid, he struck at it's metallic frame horizontally, launching it into the air and causing it to crash against the side of a nearby building, small metal parts flying through the air upon impact.

"Yo, you alright?" The little girl nodded, and smiled, hugging Reno tightly.

Reno wasn't used to being hugged by children, so he stood there a little awkwardly, "I-It'll be alright yo, just stay behind me until I kill these machines." She nodded, still clutching his side. Gently he pushed her off, and made his way towards LOVELESS Avenue. As he runs, he notices his partner Rude was also heading the same direction. "Hey man, let's finish these off together!" Rude smiles, and the pair rush down the street.

A giant security robot jumps from the roof of a nearby building, blocking their path. The little girl backs away from them and runs off the other direction crying in terror. Reno gulps, his skin paled, "T-This one is larger than the one I fought on the elevator..."

Rude takes the first swing leaping on top of it, and kicking at it's sensor. Reno charges the electric shock on his rod, and starts swinging at it's metallic legs. The top of the mechanical creature starts to glow a bright red, and out of the corner of his eye, Reno catches it. "W-What the...?" Almost instantly, the machine fires a thick red laser at where he was standing. Jumping out of the way, he barely managed to escape being blown to bits.

"Fuck!" Picking himself off the ground, he brushed the dirt off his suit and regained his composure. "Rude, how's it goin' up there?" The quiet man nodded, still chipping away at the machine's health to no avail.

"Yo, Rude!" Rude looked over at Reno, "How 'bout you come down here and help me cast some spells on this piece of shit?" His partner agreed, and jumped off the robot.

They began casting bolt together, a greenish-yellow aura manifesting at their feet. Moments later, a large bolt of lightning struck at the robot, and it froze momentarily--fried--before collapsing to the ground. They heard a victorious fanfare. Reno then realized it was his ringtone. It was Tseng.

Picking up his PHS--Portable Handheld System--he heard Tseng's voice on the phone, "Two figures, dressed in what appears to be Wutai attire, are down LOVELESS Avenue. Cissnei was sent to dispatch them, but I'm afraid they're too strong for her." Reno nodded, "We got this, yo." Closing his PHS, he rushed off, partner at his side, to rescue his co-worker.

Cissnei was a beautiful young woman with wavy auburn hair, and bright golden-brown eyes. She, of course, wore the standard-issue black Turk suit, with black gloves, and wielded a giant bright-red Shuriken. Cornered in a back alley by the two strange men, she did what she had to do--fight back.

The two strange men were dressed alike. Their garb actually resembled a tattered brown SOLDIER uniform. SOLDIER was a division of Shin-Ra, which comprised of genetically engineered super-soldiers that followed the company's bidding. Their mask though was odd. It was red, and had a cross over where their eyes would be. Cissnei wondered, "How can these guys even see...?"

Dual-wielding machete-like swords, the two men lunged to attack the female Turk. She launched herself out of the way, striking one of the men with her Shuriken, slicing deeply into his arm. Howling in pain, the man dropped one of his swords to grasp at his arm. Uninjured, the other man began his assault, slashing at her diagonally from top to bottom. Though she managed to jump back to avoid each swing, her foot caught the uneven ground at a bad angle, twisting her ankle and causing her to fall.

Reno and Rude manage to spot her. Reno shouted out to her, "Yo, Cissnei, are you alright?" Struggling to get to her feet, she weakly cried back, "I-I think I twisted my ankle." Closing the distance between himself and her, Reno ran as fast as he could, Rod in hand. "Yo, pick on someone your own size!" The uninjured man turned toward him, the injured one still focused on Cissnei.

Rude caught up, and pulled out his fists, daring the man to attack. Reno wasn't so patient, he initiated the first strike--skillfully connecting his rod to the side of the man's head. He fell to the ground, and began to shake. The Wutai soldier with the arm injury started toward Cissnei, who had managed to pick herself off the ground. Holding the Shuriken in front of her, she positioned herself in a defensive stance, ready to counter-attack should he strike.